fuck it, here's the magic email. have fun x

Date: 10 Jan 2015 5:04 p.m.
Subject: Notice to cease harassment REF R/GV3/J804601
To: <enquiries@drydensfairfax.com>
Cc:

CEASE AND DESIST

You are a  third party interloper with whom I have no contract. I am in contact with HMRC (or whoever) to resolve their administrative erro (or whatever), please close this case immediately to avoid further action. Further, ****, Weymouth is my elderly mothers address and any harassment of her will be taken very seriously.

I make a request that you cease and desist all further communications.  You are hereby served notice as of 10/01/15, under the Protection from Harassment Act 1970 to Cease and Desist any door-step visits, calls and texts to the addressee. Furthermore, you are to Cease & Desist in any attempt to contact the family, friends, neighbours, employers or any persons associated with the account holder in regards to this matter.

Any further unauthorised communication (text, calls or door-step visits, drones etc) from any Solicitors, Debt Collection Agency (or any of its affiliated agents, parent companies, proxies, etc.) to the above-mentioned address answered or not will incur administration fees as outlined in the schedule below.

Should you now fail to comply with this notice I will report you to both Trading Standards and The Office of Fair Trading. Take further note that any telephone calls after the receipt of a request not to call may constitute a criminal offence under Section 127 of the Communications Act 2003.

FEE SCHEDULE
Any invalid claims against [YOUR NAME IN CAPS]™ and/or attempting to contact the Authorised Representative by mail, mobile phone and/or telephone, pigeon or any other means will constitute the agreement of Debt Collection by Agency to the following Fee Schedule:
£1000 (ONE THOUSAND POUNDS STERLING) per invalid claim in writing, nunc pro tunc,
£35.00 (THIRTY FIVE POUNDS STERLING) per letter,text,sms,gprs,email,ninja and/or notice sent by recorded mail, or any other form of communication conceivable, nunc pro tunc,
£150.00 (ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY POUNDS STERLING) per hour or portion thereof, of the Authorised Representative’s time, nunc pro tunc,
£30.00 (THIRTY POUNDS STERLING) per attempt to contact by telephone and/or mobile phone, nunc pro tunc.
£150.00 (ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY POUNDS STERLING) per unauthorised door-step visit, nunc pro tunc.
All fees are payable in Twenty One (21) days of date of invoice is received, as evidenced by recorded delivery tracking number.
£150.00 (ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY POUNDS STERLING) for ruining my day



Without malice or mischief, in sincerity and honour

Yours sincerely
                                                                                                                             By:                                     

Commonly known as Gwa,

aka GARY JOHN JONES

Authorised Representative All Rights Reserved.

Coronavirus (CeOVID-19) - not on our watch at Martleaves farm campsite

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Coronavirus (COVID-19)

For health information and advice, read our pages on coronavirus.
Learn about the government response to coronavirus on GOV.UK.

Overview

-Coronavirus (COVID-19)

Contents

1. Overview
2. Stay at home advice
   

COVID-19 is a new illness that can affect your lungs and
airways. It's caused by a virus called coronavirus.

Stay at home if you have coronavirus. 

• symptoms:

Stay at home if you have either:

• a high temperature – this means you feel hot to touch on your chest or back (you do not need to measure your temperature)
• a new, continuous cough – this means coughing a lot for more than an hour, or 3 or more coughing episodes in 24 hours (if you usually have a cough, it may be worse than usual)
• Do not go to a GP surgery, pharmacy or hospital.
• Use the 111 online coronavirus service to find out what to do.Use the 111 coronavirus service

Informatio

Only call 111 if you cannot get help online.

How long to stay at home

• if you have symptoms of coronavirus, you'll need to stay at home for 7 days
• if you live with someone who has symptoms, you'll need to stay at home for 14 days from the day the first person in the home started having symptoms.
• If you live with someone who is 70 or over, has a long-term condition, is pregnant or has a weakened immune system, try to find somewhere else for them to stay for 14 days. 
• If you have to stay at home together, try to keep away from each other as much as possible.Read our advice about staying at home.

How to avoid catching and spreading coronavirus (social distancing)

Everyone should do what they can to stop coronavirus spreading.It is particularly important for people who:

• are 70 or over
• have a long-term condition
• are pregnant
• have a weakened immune system

Do:

• wash your hands with soap and water often – do this for at least 20 seconds
• always wash your hands when you get home or into work
• use hand sanitiser gel if soap and water are not available
• cover your mouth and nose with a tissue or your sleeve (not your hands) when you cough or sneeze
• put used tissues in the bin immediately and wash your hands afterwards
• avoid close contact with people who have symptoms of coronavirus
• only travel on public transport if you need to
• work from home, if you can
• avoid social activities, such as going to pubs, restaurants, theatres and cinemas
• avoid events with large groups of people
• use phone, online services, or apps to contact your GP surgery or other NHS services

Don't

• do not touch your eyes, nose or mouth if your hands are not clean
• do not have visitors to your home, including friends and family
• If you're at high risk The NHS will contact you from Monday 23 March 2020 if you are at particularly high risk of getting seriously ill with coronavirus. You'll be given specific advice about what to do.
• Do not contact your GP or healthcare team at this stage – wait to be contacted.

Who is at risk?

• Because it's a new illness, we do not know exactly how coronavirus spreads from person to person.
• Similar viruses are spread in cough droplets.It's very unlikely it can be spread through things like packages or food.

Pregnancy advice

• If you're pregnant and worried about coronavirus, you can get advice about coronavirus and pregnancy from the Royal College of Obstretricians and Gynaecologists.

Travel advice

• There are some countries and areas where there's a higher chance of coming into contact with someone with coronavirus.If you're planning to travel abroad and are concerned about coronavirus, see advice for travellers on GOV.UK.

Treatment for coronavirus

• There is currently no specific treatment for coronavirus.
• Antibiotics do not help, as they do not work against viruses.
• Treatment aims to relieve the symptoms while your body fights the illness.
• You'll need to stay in isolation, away from other people, until you have recovered.

More information

• GOV.UK: coronavirus action plan
• GOV.UK: information on coronavirus and the situation in the UK
• NHS England: coronavirus for health professionals
• Page last reviewed: 19 March 2020
• Next review due: 20 March 2020Next

• :Stay at home advice

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Jurassic geocaching at Martleaves Farm and campsite

Geocaching,  a bit like a modern version of orienteering,  ish,  is a great way to explore the world around you.  It is particularly effective at getting the younger, more tech savvy,  out of the house...

Martleaves Farm and campsite provides the perfect venue for cache meets,  nestled as it is on the edge of the Fleet lagoon,  off Chesil beech on Dorsets world heritage jurassic coast.  It's so beautiful here you can easily lose a day looking at the view..

With plenty of room for tents or vans,  excellent facilities,  lots for all to see and do, this is a geocachers dream.  We have an enthusiast on the team who can set up missions or act as a guide.

Why not book your next meet now? We'll soon be booked up for the summer,  the Martleaves secret is out.  See you soon.  Good hunting.

Get back to back to the source in 2013 with a stay at Martleaves Campiste

Happy 2013 from the team at Martleaves Campsite! Why not celebrate the dawning of the Age of Aquarius with a meditative trip back to nature at the heart of the beautiful, jurassic Fleet Lagoon?

Set in 34 acres of glorious countryside, this is a site of special scientific interest (SSSI) and a haven for nature lovers and bird watchers, fishermen and all nature/water lovers.

Portland Harbour 3mins away offers excellent windsurfing, kitesurfing, sailing and fishing and the campsite is opposite a famed spot for cod off the Chesil bank.

Fresh, organic eggs at Martleaves farm

The chickens are currently very productive so if you're passing call by and pick up some uber fresh locally produced eggs (x10 for £2). And maybe some marmalade…

Martleaves Farm Campsite is located between Weymouth and Portland in Dorset on the stunning Jurassic Coast World Heritage Site.

Set in 34 acres of glorious countryside, this is a site of special scientific interest (SSSI) and a haven for nature lovers and bird watchers. 
Nestling on the coastline adjacent to the world famous Chesil Beach we are lucky enough to have all the benefits of the rural countryside, the nearby seaside town of Weymouth, and Portland, the site of the 2012 Olympics. (more)

Fresh crab from the Fleet Lagoon at Martleaves campsite

We have the Fleet Saltwater Estuary just 300 metres from the farm, and across the Lagoon is Chesil Beach, approximately 17 miles long, all of which is fishable but some areas are out-of-bounds as they are part of a nature reserve. It extends from Chesil Cove in the east to Bridport Harbour. The beach slopes very steeply especially at the eastern end.

During late spring and early summer, mackerel shoal along the whole of the beach in great numbers. Most people target them with a feather rig which can be bought cheaply from all tackle stores. Mackerel are most easily caught during daylight in calm weather and can come very close to the shore as dusk approaches.(more)

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Fishing holidays at Martleaves Campsite

Come for a fishing break and stay at our farm, either in the B&B, self catering accommodation or in our mobile home.  There is a tackle shop just a 5 minute walk away and we have a fridge/freezer available for fishermen.  There is also a laundry room with washing and drying facilities and inside and outside sinks.

Bass fishing tuition is available by Mark Padfield: www.fishyrob.co.uk/Guiding/Mark/Mark_Profile.htm  
Cod fishing tuition can also be arranged. We have the Fleet Saltwater Estuary just 300 metres from the farm, and across the Lagoon is Chesil Beach, approximately 17 miles long, all of which is fishable but some areas are out-of-bounds as they are part of a nature reserve. It extends from Chesil Cove in the east to Bridport Harbour. The beach slopes very steeply especially at the eastern end. (Jurassic fishing dorset )