fuck it, here's the magic email. have fun x

Date: 10 Jan 2015 5:04 p.m.
Subject: Notice to cease harassment REF R/GV3/J804601
To: <enquiries@drydensfairfax.com>
Cc:

CEASE AND DESIST

You are a  third party interloper with whom I have no contract. I am in contact with HMRC (or whoever) to resolve their administrative erro (or whatever), please close this case immediately to avoid further action. Further, ****, Weymouth is my elderly mothers address and any harassment of her will be taken very seriously.

I make a request that you cease and desist all further communications.  You are hereby served notice as of 10/01/15, under the Protection from Harassment Act 1970 to Cease and Desist any door-step visits, calls and texts to the addressee. Furthermore, you are to Cease & Desist in any attempt to contact the family, friends, neighbours, employers or any persons associated with the account holder in regards to this matter.

Any further unauthorised communication (text, calls or door-step visits, drones etc) from any Solicitors, Debt Collection Agency (or any of its affiliated agents, parent companies, proxies, etc.) to the above-mentioned address answered or not will incur administration fees as outlined in the schedule below.

Should you now fail to comply with this notice I will report you to both Trading Standards and The Office of Fair Trading. Take further note that any telephone calls after the receipt of a request not to call may constitute a criminal offence under Section 127 of the Communications Act 2003.

FEE SCHEDULE
Any invalid claims against [YOUR NAME IN CAPS]™ and/or attempting to contact the Authorised Representative by mail, mobile phone and/or telephone, pigeon or any other means will constitute the agreement of Debt Collection by Agency to the following Fee Schedule:
£1000 (ONE THOUSAND POUNDS STERLING) per invalid claim in writing, nunc pro tunc,
£35.00 (THIRTY FIVE POUNDS STERLING) per letter,text,sms,gprs,email,ninja and/or notice sent by recorded mail, or any other form of communication conceivable, nunc pro tunc,
£150.00 (ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY POUNDS STERLING) per hour or portion thereof, of the Authorised Representative’s time, nunc pro tunc,
£30.00 (THIRTY POUNDS STERLING) per attempt to contact by telephone and/or mobile phone, nunc pro tunc.
£150.00 (ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY POUNDS STERLING) per unauthorised door-step visit, nunc pro tunc.
All fees are payable in Twenty One (21) days of date of invoice is received, as evidenced by recorded delivery tracking number.
£150.00 (ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY POUNDS STERLING) for ruining my day



Without malice or mischief, in sincerity and honour

Yours sincerely
                                                                                                                             By:                                     

Commonly known as Gwa,

aka GARY JOHN JONES

Authorised Representative All Rights Reserved.

Jurassic geocaching at Martleaves Farm and campsite

Geocaching,  a bit like a modern version of orienteering,  ish,  is a great way to explore the world around you.  It is particularly effective at getting the younger, more tech savvy,  out of the house...

Martleaves Farm and campsite provides the perfect venue for cache meets,  nestled as it is on the edge of the Fleet lagoon,  off Chesil beech on Dorsets world heritage jurassic coast.  It's so beautiful here you can easily lose a day looking at the view..

With plenty of room for tents or vans,  excellent facilities,  lots for all to see and do, this is a geocachers dream.  We have an enthusiast on the team who can set up missions or act as a guide.

Why not book your next meet now? We'll soon be booked up for the summer,  the Martleaves secret is out.  See you soon.  Good hunting.

Get back to back to the source in 2013 with a stay at Martleaves Campiste

Happy 2013 from the team at Martleaves Campsite! Why not celebrate the dawning of the Age of Aquarius with a meditative trip back to nature at the heart of the beautiful, jurassic Fleet Lagoon?

Set in 34 acres of glorious countryside, this is a site of special scientific interest (SSSI) and a haven for nature lovers and bird watchers, fishermen and all nature/water lovers.

Portland Harbour 3mins away offers excellent windsurfing, kitesurfing, sailing and fishing and the campsite is opposite a famed spot for cod off the Chesil bank.

Fresh, organic eggs at Martleaves farm

The chickens are currently very productive so if you're passing call by and pick up some uber fresh locally produced eggs (x10 for £2). And maybe some marmalade…

Martleaves Farm Campsite is located between Weymouth and Portland in Dorset on the stunning Jurassic Coast World Heritage Site.

Set in 34 acres of glorious countryside, this is a site of special scientific interest (SSSI) and a haven for nature lovers and bird watchers. 
Nestling on the coastline adjacent to the world famous Chesil Beach we are lucky enough to have all the benefits of the rural countryside, the nearby seaside town of Weymouth, and Portland, the site of the 2012 Olympics. (more)

Fresh crab from the Fleet Lagoon at Martleaves campsite

We have the Fleet Saltwater Estuary just 300 metres from the farm, and across the Lagoon is Chesil Beach, approximately 17 miles long, all of which is fishable but some areas are out-of-bounds as they are part of a nature reserve. It extends from Chesil Cove in the east to Bridport Harbour. The beach slopes very steeply especially at the eastern end.

During late spring and early summer, mackerel shoal along the whole of the beach in great numbers. Most people target them with a feather rig which can be bought cheaply from all tackle stores. Mackerel are most easily caught during daylight in calm weather and can come very close to the shore as dusk approaches.(more)

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Fishing holidays at Martleaves Campsite

Come for a fishing break and stay at our farm, either in the B&B, self catering accommodation or in our mobile home.  There is a tackle shop just a 5 minute walk away and we have a fridge/freezer available for fishermen.  There is also a laundry room with washing and drying facilities and inside and outside sinks.

Bass fishing tuition is available by Mark Padfield: www.fishyrob.co.uk/Guiding/Mark/Mark_Profile.htm  
Cod fishing tuition can also be arranged. We have the Fleet Saltwater Estuary just 300 metres from the farm, and across the Lagoon is Chesil Beach, approximately 17 miles long, all of which is fishable but some areas are out-of-bounds as they are part of a nature reserve. It extends from Chesil Cove in the east to Bridport Harbour. The beach slopes very steeply especially at the eastern end. (Jurassic fishing dorset )

New Flickr group

We now have a Flickr group. If you are on here and have any pictures of your stay with us, please do upload them and add them to this group. If not, Flickr is a great way to archive and share your photos, get feedback, advice and make friends/connections.

http://www.flickr.com/groups/2131584@N21/

So please do add any pics you have or come and see us and take some soon

Welcome to Martleaves camp site

This blog will be the place to see a glimpse of life at Martleaves Campsite, a gem of a site on the Jurassic World Heritage Coast, next to the Fleet Lagoon and right in the heart of Weymouth and Portland.

We offer camping, camper van/caravan berths with power hook ups, full shower/washing facilities, free wifi, laundry facilities, lovely grounds and a small farmlet with two pigs Vietnamese Pot Belly George and Kunekun Millie. Plus many ducks, and chickens of diverse breeds and rare breed sheep. Many accommodated in great luxury in the latest deluxe bespoke poultry accommodation.

Right on the coast path the site is within walking distance of both Weymouth and Portland and the views from the campsite are stunning